An Almost Depleted Pantry Box Aboard S/V Blondie-Dog...

Me thinks dat my lady-friend up on Marco Island has me all figureds out. I does believe dis to be true cause all she's gots ta do is mention dat she boughts sum cold beer and dat she be doing some home cooking to git my immediate attention.

So yep, I then be foolish enuf to drops whatevers I be doing and lick-ity split haul ass on up the Keys on up overs to her house for a few hot meals and cold beers.

Yes indeedy... she's seen my depleted stock pile of canned goods haphazardly strewn about inside my tote box that serves as my boat's pantry.

She knows quites well that I is tired of eating the same ol' thing out of a can for days on end and just as soon not evers eats another can of Dinty Moore Stew, Hormel Chile wit Beans, or any more Chicken of the Sea cause it shor don't taste like any chi'ken dat she's ever cooked up.

I is evens tired of eating Ramen Noodles wit Tobasco Sauce fer breakfast every morning. Incidentally sumbody once tolds me dat eating noodles wit Tobasco Sauce can help one git overs a bad hang-over in de morning.

But I seriously doubts dis to be true cause I ain't ever telled any difference if ya really wanna know da truth. I eat da noodles cause I ain't gots any bacon and eggs laying around inside my tote box.

One of these days I is going to gits me rear-end off of dis here boat and buys me a refrigerator at the local Goodwill Store and loads it up wit some fresh cheese, cold milk, mayonnaise, salami, potato salad, ripe tomatoes, fresh eggs, and anything else I mights think of.

Anyways I's gots ta go folks... I's got to fix me sum dinner fer tonight. Me thinks that I'll heat me up some Spam ham in der skillet along wit a few packets of apricot jelly that I swiped de other day at a nearby Denny's.

I'll be sure to splash a little soy sauce on it too and serve it up wit some stale crackers dat I's got somewheres smushed between da cans inside my pantry box.

And of course if ye might perhaps be from Texas, then yor shor to know that "La Quinta" when translated into English means "Next to Denny's"... har, har, har...




http://foodwishes.blogspot.com/2009/04/shortcut-green-chicken-enchiladas.html





http://foodwishes.blogspot.com/2007/09/spaghetti-with-red-clam-sauce-one-of-my.html




http://foodwishes.blogspot.com/2009/07/wolfgang-pucks-famous-california-pizza.html







Collard Greens, tuna, sauteed onion, and other stuff... (it was edible... yet again, I was hungry.)








Pretty good eating all things considered...



Me seeing double after indulging in a few brewskies...

Hey Dude! You need to cook something!!

Dude... put down that large bag of chips and super-sized carbonated soda and listen to me. There is real food out there anxiously awaiting for you to get off your rear end and cook. It's not hard... check out Foodwishes on youtube as well as on blogspot.com for some easy cooking instructions. You can do this.

Chef John is an entertaining fellow with some five hundred cooking videos each lasting no more than six minutes or so. Surely, you've got an attention span that can last at least that long. (and for all you old timers out there, please save the "and don't call me Shirley" commentary)

Featured in the photo above is "Shortcut Green Enchiladas". It was every bit as good as it looks in the photograph. It was super easy to make and is one of those microwaveable friendly dishes... perfect for heating up for breakfast the next morning.

So check this chef out. He's a pretty cool guy.
http://foodwishes.blogspot.com/2009/04/shortcut-green-chicken-enchiladas.html

Cooking in the Galley for a Change...

It occurs to me that I seldom cook onboard the boat and I often find myself doing the expedient thing and heating up a can Hormel Chile or some such. It's either that or a can of ravioli or perhaps even a tin of tuna or the dreaded potted meat.

The best thing that can be said about the potted meat is that it is somewhat edible and comes in a tin and doesn't require any refrigeration. Other than that I'm thinking that the tinned potted meats should be consigned to my survival gear bag that I've yet to put together.

It's either that or I could perhaps use the stuff as bait in a lobster trap. Lobsters are the bottom scavengers of the ocean and love eating foul stuff and are but one or two DNA chromosomes away from making them identical to a landlubber cockroach.

Yes... the cockroach... that repulsive creepy-crawler lurking from underneath your dishwasher in the kitchen with its feelers twisting about in the air in the same manner that a lobster's feelers twist about from underneath a coral ledge.

In any event, I got this urge to cook something and happened to be craving some real food for a change so off I went to Daffy Doug's Convenience Store to make a few purchases. Daffy Doug's just recently started stocking fresh produce, canned and dry goods as well as frozen poultry and meats.

By all accounts, Daffy Doug's has been an instant success among the boaters at the marina because of its close proximity and even more importantly because of its reasonable food prices. The produce sold in the store is all locally grown in nearby Homestead.

Publix and Winn Dixie on the other hand are in obvious collusion to keep their food prices sky high. I feel totally screwed every time I go into either one of these two stores. A dinky green bell pepper should not have to cost $1.50.

Nevertheless, I loaded up my Daffy Doug's hand basket with a frozen package of chicken thighs, a bell pepper, an onion, and two potatoes but not before checking underneath the double-door freezer for any repulsive, creepy-crawlers with their feelers twisting about in the air.

I later cooked up a pot of "Fricase de Pollo", or "Chicken Fricassee" for those of you who spent all of your time goofing off in your high school Spanish class. I also cooked up a small pot of steamed white rice to go along with it.

Check out the Goya website for some relatively easy to prepare Latin American food recipes if you are so inclined and wish to eat something other than the usual burger and fries.

www.goya.com

I'd give you the basic recipe here but I've tired of typing this stuff up at this early hour in the morning and need to check in on Hurricane Paula and see whether or not she's coming this way later on today.

The next morning...

I've got banking issues... as in a depleted checking account, few dollars in my wallet, an almost empty gas tank and an extended list of things that I need to do before I can set sail...

For whatever reason, I've had a problem funding my checking account and I'm bothered by it all to say the least.

It's early in the morning and I'm seated at Marina's computer with printer problems. I've got the marina manager attempting to assist me print off a wire transfer form when suddenly I'm feeling the presence of someone hovering over my shoulder.

I look up and there before me is Jacobo, the emaciated sailor with his skin sagging down all over the place, now peering down at my screen and inquiring, "What are you doing?... are you busy?" After a moment of hesitation, I turn and look straight at him and in my most professional and dispassionate tone of voice inform him, "I am attempting to resolve a personal matter"... as in get the f*ck out of my face, go away, this does not concern you and don't ask any favors of me.

Jacobo does seem to take a hint but not before informing me, "I need for you to drive me to the liquor store..." before ambling off back to his boat. I then turn to the marina manager, and blurt out, "I am not his caretaker". Upon which the manager responds "I see that all the time, you need to nip that in the bud"... which I emphatically do.

No... there was no subsequent drive to the liquor store, or the hardware store or the grocery store... nor did I find the time to empty the rain water out of his damned dinghy and hell no was I going to kill a day hauling his scrawny ass off to the VA Hospital.

Not that anyone really cares, but dinner last night was a can Campbell's ham and bean soup along with two slices of bread.

Damned... too much drama... time to set sail.

Goodness... this place is starting to wear on me. There's just too much damned drama going on around here. It's been a good twenty-some years since I last cruised aboard my Morgan 35' throughout the Florida Keys and the Bahamas. Somehow I had forgotten all about all the personal bullsh*t that goes along with it.

I'm ready to haul ass on out of here and start experiencing the cruising lifestyle for what it should be. I had some dude engage me in a one-sided conversation the other evening and proceed to tell me all about his disputes with the City Marina. After awhile, all I could think about was that "I don't really give a rat's ass". Later in his extended one-sided dialogue he chides me for being tide up at the marina and not out on a "hook" in the river. Somehow the caricature of a river-rat floating on an inner tube down the Brazos River in Texas came to mind.

Another too-much-drama incident involved a large gray heavy-duty plastic garbage bin chained up to the wall just in front of the slip where S/V Blondie-Dog happens to be tied up to. On two consecutive late Saturday evenings, a sailing vessel pulls in after hours to avoid dockage fees and ties off onto the docks. Soon thereafter four somewhat young guys can be seen trekking past along the sea-wall and on over to the local taverns.

Well the first Saturday evening after the local bars had shut down at two in the morning, all four dudes come staggering back down the piers hollering obscenities and kicking dockside gear all over the place including the large grey trash can in front of my boat. Moments later a loud splash can be heard and all the trash that had been neatly tidied up in plastic bags can now be found floating alongside my boat.

I of course am awakened out of a sound sleep and poke my head out of the hatch above the V-berth... (not unlike an office cubicle-mole)... to see what the hell is going on but I think better of a confrontation and settle back down below. Well the same scene repeats itself the following Saturday evening and now I'm hacked... its been another week and the trash still hadn't been picked-up for whatever reason and once again can be seen floating alongside my boat in the river.

I'm incensed about the smelly trash not having been picked up and of the damned horse-flies hovering around the trash-can and bothered about not having purchased a VHF radio that I had planned on purchasing earlier in the day so that I could report their collective asses as they motored on down the river.

I did nevertheless shout out to them as they were pulling away from the docks, "Hey asshol*s... you will be reported first thing in the morning!". Admittedly, this certainly was a chickensh*t response made once again avoid a confrontation. I did indeed report the incident to the Marina the next morning. The dudes haven't been back since and my big regret is that I did not have the presence of mind to record the name of the vessel when she tied up that second Saturday evening.

There is more drama to report but I can't take anymore of this bullsh*t either.

Not that any anyone "le importa tres carajos"... but lunch/dinner earlier today was some genuine comfort food... and I'm not talking about another greasy burger with soggy fries or even a chicken-fried steak with instant mashed potatoes and over-boiled brocolli with fake cheese either. I'm talking about some delectable "Lechon asado" along with a huge mound of "arroz con gandules" with a side order of "tostones" and a salad to boot!

I happened to be wandering down Cleveland Avenue in Fort Myers looking for a place to get a bite to eat when I happened to spot a place. I swerve over two lanes and shortly thereafter find myself seated in a small, austere, yet air-conditioned eatery. I have arrived at "El Pilon" restaurant. Soon thereafter I place my lunch order and somewhat impatiently wait for my food to arrive as I see one delectable plate of food after another get placed on adjacent tables.

My lunch order finally arrives and I'm not dissapointed in the least. Damned that was good eating! My only reqret was that I didn't take a moment to take a picture of my plate of food when it arrived... nevermind that I have yet to figure out how to download pictures from my cell phone to my computer.

Up on the walls were scenes of Puerto Rico from back in the day and a Puertorican flag as well. What the proprietaries and other patrons probably wondered was "what the hell is that "gringo" doing in here"... not realizing that I, having lived on the island for an extended period of time and having played in a multitude of chess tournaments throughout the island probably knew more and had seen more of the island than they'd ever seen or would ever see.

http://www.elpilonrestaurant.net/

Oh Gasp! I'm Inadvertently becoming a Vegan...

For dinner earlier this evening, not that anyone gives a "Fiddler's Fart", as often expressed by acclaimed author Frank McCourt in his writings, were two small boiled red potatoes, along with steamed carrots, green beans, yellow squash, and a small plum tomato...

Drizzled atop of it all was some olive oil and my favorite... Kraft, Sun-Dried Tomato Vinagrette and all seasoned with some salt and freshly ground pepper in my mortar & pestle.

Somehow missing in the menu is meat... as in MEAT... as in I'm a carnivore and I need to eat meat and that is how my kind evolved and I haven't really eaten unless I've had a slab of medium-rare MEAT placed in front of me for a meal.

But it is too damned hot to be cooking meat onboard the boat... and there is no refrigeration onboard either for that matter. Besides, I'm still somewhat tentative about my temperamental alcohol stove. I can never really tell when she'll put out a nice intense and gratifying amount of heat or whether she'll flame out with total disinterest.

The scary part of it all is that I rather enjoyed my vegan dinner.

Still messing around with the boat...

Much to my surprise, the un-diluted bottle of bleach that I had liberally sprayed throughout the V-berth and head certainly had its intended effect. The boat is starting to actually feel habitable. The bleach made a world of difference on me wanting to sprawl out in the V-berth for any period of time.

I gotta believe that disposing of the four inch thick spongy bed mattress that came with the boat was definitely the right decision as well. All it seemed to do was absorb moisture and propogate germs not unlike a dishwashing sponge. It didn't seem that it would ever dry out in the hot sun and I certainly wasn't going want to be sleeping on a giant moist germ-collecting dishwashing sponge... so that thing was unceremoniously carted off into the marina trash dumpster.

In its place is a sleeping pad for camping, a sleeping bag, and a small air-mattress... not entirely nautical, but functional for the time being.

The alcohol stove had its turn today... I pulled it out of its recess and gave it a thorough examination and cleaning. The valve to the back burner was stuck in the open position but I finally worked it enough that it now opens and closes readily enough. The burners were encrusted in rust and burned crud but not after I put a metal battery terminal brush to good use. I made a mess in the cockpit but it was better than taking a chance on losing some small random fitting overboard.

The real test came later and Voila! The stove actually worked... both burners were burning away... I still need to get use to controlling the amount of flame coming out of the burners though... and I'll also need some real stick matches... that Bar-B-Que grill lighter that I purchased doesn't light on cue and the plastic cigarette lighter that I claimed off of a bar-room floor not long ago seems to take a layer of skin off of my thumb every time I attempt to use it.

On the menu tonight, not that anyone really cares, was maccaroni and cheese along with boiled red potatos and diced Italian hard salami. The water boiled readily enough inside the pressure cooker. I've got too much cookingware aboard the boat but the pressure cooker certainly is a keeper. I'll hold off on buying a propane stove for the boat for now.

Memo to self: plan meals ahead of time, dig out all the food items and seasonings as well as the pots & pans to be used BEFORE lighting up the alcohol stove.

Dinner aboard S/V Blondie-Dog...

I've yet to figure out how to use the alcohol stove top onboard the boat... from all that I've previously heard and read, alcohol stoves take awhile to heat whatever one is cooking on the stove top.

I am so tempted to head on out to the nearest HomeDepot, (Is Sears still around or did it go the route as Oldsmobile or Senator John McCain?)... but I digress... anyway I've got half a mind to purchase a small power generator, a small microwave and a two-burner electric stove top from WalMart... that as well as a propane camping stove.

Nevertheless, on the menu tonight, not that anyone really cares, was an unheated can of Hormel Chile with Beans mixed in along with a tin of King Oscar Kipper Snacks-lightly-smoked hearing fillets... add to it a good splash of Tobasco and a few saltine crackers... Beats the hell out of another obesity inducing burger and fries any day in the middle of the week. My beverage to wash it all down was an unpretentious $3 bottle of Oak Leaf Merlot...

Getting the gear stowed away...

Made my first pot of coffee for the first time in some six weeks since leaving Dallas... too bad the coffee maker couldn't run on DC current after plugging it into the inverter... had to cart the thing up to the marina offices and plug it into one of the outdoor AC outlets. The effort was nevertheless worth it. Especially since I didn't have to go chase a cup of coffee at Starbucks.

It was nice and relaxing to be able to sip on some coffee while seated in the cockpit contemplating the early morning.

I later got busy sorting through all the stuff I had retrieved from the storage unit back in Ennis. I got motivated once I put on some Bob Marley and UB40 tunes. The tote boxes are worth their weight in gold... pots and pans, canned goods, cleaning items, tools each have their own tote box to go into. Nope... there won't be any cans of rolling about in the bilge if I can help it. I even have a small tote box set aside for my cell phone, wallet, watch and car keys so that they are all in one place.

Drove to good ol' Walmart up in North Fort Myers and purchased a sundry of pantry items... stuff one buys once in a blue moon... olive oil, red wine vinegar, hot sauce, powdered lemonade, dry pasta and beans, rice, seasonings etc. ... couln't find powdered milk in packets.

It's time to get serious about the hardware on the boat... tomorrow will be a good time to perform a thorough inspection of all the wiring... a cursory look shows just too many splices in the wiring throughout the boat. I also need to check out the alcohol stove and make sure that it works. It's way past time that I start cooking my own meals.