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Sunday, February 3, 2013

Yippers! I Now Be a Highly Acclaimed Poet thanks to Dr. Seuss!

Well feller sailers', I'll have ya'll knows 'dat I is now a bona fide poet and 'dat I done wrotes' me a fine poem 'dat even da' likes of Robert Frost and Emily Dickinson would have been a mighty proud to have claimed as 'der own.

Yippers... my lofty little poem 'dat I done already submitted to Cruisers Forum, now be universally acclaimed to be amongst 'da finest evers' written 'bout enduring brutal, nasty weather whiles' a clingin' onto a marina mooring ball.

And folks, I gotta' tells ya 'dat 'dis here poem gots' plenty of nautical insight and beer induced perspectives as to what it's really like to be a liveabord sailer' at anchor fer' days on end if I do say so's myself.

So wit' out any further-a-do, here be my highly acclaimed poem!

Can You Sail in a Gale?

Can you sail, in a gale?
And did you wail while under sail?

I did indeed sail in a gale.
And I later even peed off the rail!

Have you ever tied a knot?
Or was it a mistake and all for naught?

Of course I've tied a knot, yet done did it without any thought.
And it’s still there ‘cause I already done forgot!

Can you splice a line?
And did you drink up all that wine?

Sure I can splice a line and without the usual whine.
And gulp, that was some mighty fine red wine!

Can you set an anchor, without too much rancor?
Or was that you a-hollering late one night and spewing out some anger?

Yes I can set an anchor without hardly any rancor.
But it was my own noisy halyard that set off my feller' neighbor's banter!

And might you have a putty-cat to snuggle with at nights?
Or is it jest’ you in that v-berth without any delight?

Why yes I found a pussy-cat to snuggle with at nights.
And together we take turns, turning down the lights, for a little delight!

And did you read some books while a-living aboard your boat?
Or did you piddle your time away takin' one too many tokes?

Well heck no did I do any tokes, nor did I fish for the square grouper you silly bloke.
But I did happen to read Dr. Seuss’s classics I’ll have you note!


I wish to thank and extol the creative genius of Dr. Seuss from way back in the day.

I'll also haves' ya'll know 'dat it be a dog-gone shame that many of us had to endure the mind-numbin' Dick and Jane books that were forced upon us while being held in first grade captivity.

And if per chance I was to come across Spot, 'den I'd 'fer sure give 'dat stupid mutt a swift kick in the hind quarters when nobody be a-looking. 'Dats whut' I gots to say dadgommit!

This is what the Square Grouper looks like in case ya' might have been a-wonderin'.

Yippers! I now be a highly acclaimed poet!