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Friday, January 7, 2011

Gourmet Cooking Aboard S/V Blondie-Dog...

Okay... I know what you're thinking and you couldn't be further from the truth. Just because I happen to be surrounded by water on all sides doesn't mean that I'm always chowing down on grouper, or lobster, or snapper or stone crab or even conch for that matter.

The truth is the last time I ate seafood, it was out of a can. Yeah... you heard me right... a can... as in a can of pink salmon not unlike the one that's been sitting in your pantry for the past eight months or so. It was either that or quite possibly a can of tuna for all I can remember if you really want to know.

In any event lunch today consisted of a small package of Vigo Saffron seasoned Yellow Rice along with a can of Goya Kidney Beans in Sauce.

I would have liked to have served up some "platanos amarillos" on the side, or "maduros" as the Cuban locals prefer to call it but my two plantain bananas onboard are still green. I did happen to mix up a glass of powdered skim milk to later wash down the rice and beans though.

Hey... it was either rice and beans or another peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It certainly could have been worse too. Rolling inside my tote box that serves as my pantry aboard the boat are tins of deviled ham spread and I can assure you that is some nasty stuff.

I'm quite certain that there might be some concern among you all whether I'm eating balanced meals if at all so I'll simply add that any Care Packages sent my way will be most graciously appreciated. Just please don't include any cans of tuna or spam or deviled ham spread. Otherwise you'll run the risk of being ex-communicated from my Facebook page.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Early to Bed and Early to Rise in Boot Key Harbor...

It's early to bed and early to rise for me these days since I made the conscientious decision over a month ago to quit chasing a good time in the local taverns. In any event, it wasn't like I was really enjoying myself while watching but another mind-numbing sporting event on a flat screen tv while downing yet another pitcher of cheap beer.

Besides, all the attractive young ladies that might happen to be patronising the taverns always seemed to be hooked up with someone else whether they'd be male or female if you know what I mean.

It was either that or they'd be behind the bar working their tails off serving beer and mixing up drinks while pretending to be amused by all the random comments thrown their way.

One thing that I've got figured out is to not even bother trying to amuse the wait staff no matter how curvaceous of a figure she might have. They're working their tails off for one reason only and that is to earn tips to help pay the bills... otherwise they'd be sitting on the other side of the bar waiting for someone else to serve them up a cocktail of one sort or another.

Well heck... these are the Keys and anything goes or so it seems and so I've had to grow a set of antennas to pick up on unsolicited and ever so casual questions and commentary tossed my way from other fellow male bar patrons.

One cannot simply assume that just because one's fellow bar patron knows all the nuances of the 3-4 nickle defense and of blitzes and of short passing routes, that he isn't a little "light in the loafers" to quote a once common hom*ph*bic expression.

... and just because I happen to whole-heartily support the repeal of DADT doesn't mean that I want to "Take a Walk on the Wild Side"... so dude... quit inadvertently knocking knees with me while bellied up to the bar and quit asking me other off-topic questions.

Dude... don't ask me what I do for a living, or where I'm from, or how long I'm going to be down here for or even less where I live. It ain't none of your effing business and it ain't ever going to happen so move along and stop annoying me.

It occurs to me that I should perhaps stock up on ten or so T-shirts that I saw someone wearing the other day. On the front it said, "I Love Boobies!"... yeah, that should be an effective repellent.

So, like I mentioned earlier... it's early to bed and early to rise these days for me. The highlight of my days or so it seems, is at sunset when a good many of us boaters here in the harbor blow the heck out of our conch shells in unison as the sun is setting.

Yeah I know... it's way past time that S/V Blondie-Dog haul ass on out of the harbor and sail on off somewhere. Let me see... perhaps Luperon, The Exuma Islands, Veradero, La Habana, Key West or even Boqueron. It's either that or else I'll need to go find myself a nice cushy sofa that comes equipped with a TV remote.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Celebrating the New Year and Briefly Suspending My Self Imposed Drinking Moratorium...


Hey... what can I say. I never did say that I had indefinitely quit imbibing alcoholic beverages... only that I had imposed an indefinite drinking moratorium upon myself.

So yeah... that was me the other night suspending my moratorium for one evening and celebrating the New Year while sipping on some Champagne. That was followed later on by a good amount of Merlot and even a bit of Chardonnay once that had run out.

After the Chardonnay, I followed that up with some... oh heck, I can't remember what came after that not that it really matters.

In any event the moratorium has been put back into effect so if anybody is out there objecting to me briefly suspending my self-imposed drinking moratorium, I'll simply quote a good little buddy of mine.... "EAT MY SHORTS, MAN!"

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