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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Hurricane Rina! You Ain't Invited for Fantasy Fest! Go Away!...


Well now... seems like somebody forgot to inform Hurricane Rina that she ain't invited for Fantasy Fest for it seems like she might be headed this way.

Yet again this is Key West and anything and everything goes and it's a live and let live mindset here in the Conch Republic and everybody is invited to do as they please.

Fantasy Fest weekend has yet to arrive yet revelers can already be seen strolling along Duval Street in the afternoons wearing little more than a fig leaf or some such.

As for me, I've never seen so many painted-up boobies flopping about in my life. The amusing part of it all is that not all boobies defy gravity either in spite of all the advances in modern cosmetic surgery.

While some double-D's are sure to outlast the Egyptian Pyramids, there are others in dire need of being re-inflated with an air pressure hose.

And let me tell ya, it ain't just your frolicking and "barely legal" young girls that are parading about virtually totally nude either.

Surprise! It's your stereotypical granny along with her blue hair and painted-up tits sagging all the way down to her waistline that's grabbing all the attention.

And don't assume granny was by herself on some weekend escapade away from grandad either because he happened to be right there along with her exposing his wrinkled bare ass.

Now that's what I call not giving a rat's ass. And while I'm thinking about it, Granny and Grandad did seem to have a striking resemblance to the couple posing in the painting entitled, "American Gothic" by Grant Wood.

Having said all that, you won't see me actively participating in the festivities. I'll be the dude seeking out a sports bar and sipping on a few cold ones while watching my Texas Rangers take on the Cardinals in the World Series.

Go Rangers!

Happy and Most Relieved to Have Survived Yet Another Day of Rapture...

October 21st was to have been yet another day of Rapture and needless to say I was most relieved that no such thing happened.

For you see my birthday also happened to fall on that date and I would have been quite upset had such a catastrophic event disrupted my evening of imbibing at my local watering hole.

And besides, I would have also most assuredly been condemned to eternal damnation and what-not, much to the delight of all the rabid religious zealots foaming at the mouth.

Nevertheless on the plus side had such an event occurred, it would have gotten my rear-end off of my boat.

So yeah, I'm tired of the so-called cruising lifestyle and of all its inconveniences and would rather live in a modest dwelling with running water, AC power, cable tv, and a refrigerator.

Throw is a shaded patio along with a hammock and a few loitering cats and I'll be a happy camper.

That doesn't mean that I don't enjoy sailing, it's just that sailing and cruising ain't one and the same.

Lastly before leaving.... Hey all you religious zealots... just so you know... if you get raptured, I'll be the one claiming all your stuff!

"Atheism is Enlightenment and We'll All Get Along With One Another Once We All Become Enlightened." (me).