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Friday, March 15, 2013

Poo-Pooing Beaches 'Cause I Now Feel That Way...

It occurred to me the other day that I happen to be presently residing within but a mile or two of a pristine, sandy beach and yet for whatever compelling reason can't seem to get all worked up about it.

Yep, ya'll heard me right. I live nearby a beach that happens to be highly coveted by tourists from all over the world and I for one couldn't care any less.

In fact, I'm hard pressed at this very moment to tell you when I last aimlessly strolled along the Marco Island Beach shown above.

For you see, pristine beaches along with its deep blue oceans have for whatever reason, ceased to enthrall me for some time now. Nope, I'd rather go hike the Appalachian Trail if the truth be known. At least it would be a new life experience to say the least.

In any event I have nevertheless been fortunate to have visited and enjoyed a number of beaches over the years. But like I just done said, they 'jest ain't tugging at my heart strings no more.

Seven Seas Beach, Las Croabas Puerto Rico with El Yunque and National Rain Forest in the background. And if per chance you ever happen to be doing the tourist thing in Puerto Rico, then be sure to take some time out and trek on up the trails to the peak for a majestic view of the coastline and Saint Thomas for that matter.

And if per chance you've already trekked on up the peak then consider trekking on down from the parking facilities midway up the park on down to the base of the mountain. The foliage gets exponentially denser and the trail more precarious leaving one feeling as if one were actually in a scene from the movie Romancing The Stone from awhile back.


Seven Seas Beach, Las Croabas Puerto Rico. A most delightful secluded beach on the north east end of the island.

Bill Baggs Beach, Key Biscayne

Bill Baggs Key Biscayne.

Bill Baggs Cape Florida State Park occupies approximately the southern third of the island of Key Biscayne, at coordinates WikiMiniAtlas

25°40′25″N 80°09′34″W / 25.67361°N 80.15944°W / 25.67361; -80.15944. The park includes the Cape Florida Light, the oldest standing structure in Greater Miami. In 2005 the park was ranked as having the 8th best beach in the country.

The park is named in honor of Bill Baggs, editor of The Miami News from 1957 until his death in 1969. He worked to protect the land from development, to preserve some of the key in its natural state, and was also a civil rights activist.

In 2004 a large historical marker was erected at the site to mark it as part of the National Underground Railroad Network to Freedom Trail, as hundreds of Black Seminoles, many fugitive slaves, escaped from here to freedom in the Bahamas, settling mostly on Andros Island. In the early 1820s, some 300 American slaves reached the Bahamas, aboard 27 sloops and many canoes.[3] The US National Park Service is working with the Bahamas, particularly the African Bahamanian Museum and Research Center (ABAC) in Nassau, to develop interpretive programs at Red Bays, Andros.

(Preceding Wikipedia narrative brazenly copied & pasted without any permission whatsoever.)
By the way... I can't help but recall being gifted three large sewing needles by the "Sewing Lady" in Nichols Town, Andros Island. This was after sailing there back '89 while aboard S/V BratCat.

Her shop happened to be located next door to the "Campbell's Food Store. She politely yet resolutely refused payment for her needles. I still silently thank her for gesture whenever I come across hearing about Andros Island.

Padre Island, South Texas. Not a pleasant beach to say the least.

Isla Verde, Puerto Rico. Incidentally my favorite.

Cancun, Mexico, then yet again this may have been Isla Verde, Puerto Rico. I just don't recall.

Miami Beach

Marco Island Beach

The first time I sailed on in to Marco Island, I had assumed the the condominiums along the shoreline had all been obliterated by a hurricane and had yet to be rebuilt because of a stagnant economy. I was later informed that that wasn't the case and that the "winter snowbird" condo owners had simply shuttered up the windows for hurricane season.

Marco Island Beach, fourth

View from atop of El Yunque National Rain Forest. Puerto Rico

Destin, Florida. 2002.

Yes, that's me wearing the red swim trunks and the same safari hat that I still own and wear when sailing.

Seven Seas Beach, National Park Reserve, Las Croabas, Puerto Rico

A most delightful secluded beach to stroll along.

Luquillo Beach. Puerto Rico

And while Fort Myers Beach is indeed a very attractive beach insofar beaches are concerned, to me it's but another overcrowded beach catering to tourists.

While sipping on a few cold beverages with my lady-friend from atop a business establishment, a large speedboat could be seen precariously racing close to shore amongst some bathers.

My lady-friend was quick to nonchalantly point out that "the bigger and louder the boat, then the smaller the d***"... I'll take her word for it.

Tortuero, Costa Rica... and yes, sea turtles make it a point to lay their eggs on this beach and poachers beware... you will be shot on sight, no questions asked.

Playa Del Carmen, Costa Rica.
I've seen nicer beaches. A surfer's paradise nonetheless.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Blondie Gets a Wardrobe Makeover...

Well folks... I'll have ya'll know that the radio dial in my fully depreciated car is more often than not set to Gator Country not that I expected any of you fine folks to give a rat's ass one way or another.

And yes... I did indeed say Gator Country, as in country music on your FM dial broadcasting all throughout Southwest Florida. And not 'fer nuttin' do they call it Gator Country, 'cause if 'da truth be known, Southwest Florida has been run amok by menacing alligators for some time now.

In fact, my lady-friend tells me of the time when she mindlessly stepped outside early one morning to retrieve the newspaper only to then inadvertently step upon a gator's tail who happened to be casually snoozing on her front porch. It also goes without saying that this little incident did indeed scare the crap out of her. Or so she claims anyways...

Nevertheless I do suppose that it could have been a far worse experience for her that morning 'cause it just as easily could have been a Jehova's Witness knocking on her door while eagerly awaiting to pounce upon her with a load of religious crap before she'd even had her first cup of coffee. But I suppose that you already done knew that.

In any event there are indeed lurking alligators all throughout Southwest Florida stealthily lying in wait to make a meal out of sum' unsuspecting poochie-dog or even a distracted fellow for that matter. So yeah, gators can be routinely spotted all throughout this part of Florida.

In fact, I'd even say that the only thing out numbering all 'dem mofo gators are all the ol' farts from up north shufflin' along from one food buffet line to another.

Yippers... it's that time of the year and it's what's called "High Season" here in Southwest Florida. And I can assure you all that it is an annual event somewhat akin to having an infestation of locusts suddenly descend from out of the sky not that I've ever had the misfortune to experience such an event.

And trust me on this one feller sailers'... 'der ain't nuttin' more aggravating than to get behind the wheel of 'sum ol' geezer pokin' along the highway in an over sized, fuddie-duddie Town Car... especially one still sportin' a Romney-Ryan bumper sticker.

Nevertheless having said all that, I do kindly ask 'dat ya'll don't go a-tellin' anyone 'dat I do indeed tune in for a little country music from time to time while driving 'cause country music 'jest ain't all 'dat cool with the many young and not so young, hot latina ladies residing throughout Florida.

Oh... I almost forgots' to tell ya'll.... Blondie-Dog now gots' herself a brandy-new sacrificial on her jib and a new mainsail cover to boot. Yippers... Blondie now looks like she belongs amongst all 'dem other fine lookin' boats here at the Calusa Island Marina.