I like this book. It's not the kind of book one reads from cover to cover but rather one would prefer to open up at a random page to read one of the "1,198 tips from 222 sailors on 120 boats from 9 countries".
This book is a compilation of suggestions from fellow live-a-board mariners about how to make off-shore cruising more practical, less costly, safer, and enjoyable.
For instance... tip number 109. "Do not take paper bags or corrugated cardboard boxes onto your boat... ever". It goes on to explain to unpack the contents immediately in the cockpit and promply dispose of the cardboard.
Well... the lyrics of one of Paul Simon's songs comes to mind, "Whom am I to blow against the wind" and I certainly don't want any "cucarachas" onboard the boat so that fancy thick ply shopping bag from West Marine promptly gets unceremoniously disposed of.
Tip number 650... Fish Traquilizer.
"When you bring a fish onboard and want to stop it from flopping around, blow a mouthful of whiskey into the fish's mouth or gills... a trick made easier if you lift the fish's head by picking up on the wire leader and" ... okay, whatever. Wrong tip to illustrate the merits of the book. I believe I'd prefer to smack that fish with a 2 by 4 and sip that whisky myself after a bad day of sailing.
Tip number 116. How to repel "No-see-ums"... otherwise know by me as microscopic airborne piranah fish.
"If using Skin So-Soft as an insect repellent, be sure you get the oil, not the lotion. Dilute the oil with equal parts of rubbing alcohol and water".
Memo to self... purchase Skin-So-Soft oil. Puertorican skin tissue is not impervious to microscopic airborne pirahna fish.
Tip number... oopps, I can't seem to find it in my book... "How to hook-up with hot and not so hot chicks at a bar"... damned... surely it's in this damned book somewhere.
Alright... enough of this crap... I need to say hello to a fellow bar patron.
No comments:
Post a Comment