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Thursday, October 6, 2011

A Fortuitous Encounter the Other Morning...



I can't remember it ever happening before but I had a most fortuitous encounter while pedaling my bike on through the marina parking lot the other morning.

For you see, lying face down on that parking lot pavement was none other than a U.S. twenty dollar-bill with an unsmiling Andrew Jackson peering on the front.

So after screeching my bike to an abrupt halt and after inconspicuously looking over both shoulders, I discretely leaned over and retrieved that bill.

I then proceeded to insert that twenty dollar-bill securely into my wallet alongside that of my other folding money.

That twenty clearly showed signs of a few tread marks on it and it certainly would have been most unfortunate for that bill to have been subjected to even more tire abuse out in that parking lot.

So yeah, I did the right thing to lend that distressed bill a "sticky finger" and give that poor soul safe haven inside of my wallet.

And after rescuing Ol' Hickory, I reconnoitered that parking lot for other bills that might possibly have been lying about in distress as well.

Heck... for all I know a Brinks truck might have passed on through that lot earlier in the day with its rear door wildly swinging about and while scattering a few bills along the way.

And while speaking of twenty dollar bills and of "sticky fingers" always be sure to resolutely tell the bartender when paying for that $4 draft beer, that you're forking over a twenty.

For if you don't, you run the risk of getting change for but a ten and then it becomes but your word against hers and you're certain to lose that battle every time.

So don't risk becoming a "Yuma" while tendering over that twenty to that cute and loquacious bartender behind the bar without first making it clear that you've got change for a twenty coming back.

Lastly beware of the bar-stool cruiser claiming to be embedded in the local Cuban community for it's all bullsh*t. It's but a ploy to embed himself into your wallet while claiming to have Cuban friends that can fix whatever boat or car problem you might have at a substantial discount.

Remember... you get what you pay for so bite the proverbial bullet and pay a reputable mechanic to replace those brake pads and service that outboard motor.

And it occurs to me that I too happen to have a lot of Cuban friends... only that they all happen to be securely nestled inside of my wallet. Funny how they all seem to have pale faces and have Gringo sounding names...

Give me a moment while I say hi to my Cuban friends... Good morning George, hello Abraham, whut-up Adams?, and lastly a man-hug for my newly found friend Andrew Jackson.

(Yuma defined: Cuban slang for a dumbass gringo who is readily swindled out of his money.)

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